Chase "Talking"

Chase was cooing and smiling up a storm on the changing table. Of course he tamed it down considerably when I got the camera out! Oh, Well...it's still cute!

Why do babies have to grow up so fast! I cherish every moment I have with this little guy and I wish I could slow things down a bit! He is such a joy...that three dollar bottle of gas drops has been a lifesaver. He is a much happier and content baby!

I put Chase in the exersaucer for the first time today. He looked like such a big boy! He even made it bounce a few times. He was completely mesmorized by all the toys and colors on it!

It's Official!!!

On Friday, I resigned as Director of Nursing following my maternity leave. Although I would love to stay home with the kids full-time (look at that face who wouldn't) I will go back to work part-time in January. Ideally I would love to work only 2 days a week on days when my mom is off so that she can watch the kids. Not sure that is possible at this point, I have to see what the new Director needs and wants! I am very excited, I have loved being on maternity leave. I love taking the kids to school and picking them up everyday. Its unbelievable the quality time we have in the late afternoon and evening that we never had before! Christian really misses his friends at daycare, luckily his best friend goes to the same preschool. He loves being at home with me more!!!

Chase is 2 Months!

Our little man is growing so fast! Why does time have to fly! I took Chase in for his two month check up, he weighed a whopping 13# 9 1/2 oz and was 23 1/2 inches long. He got his first vaccines, didn't enjoy them, but was OK once I picked him up! He is smiling and reacting to everyone which is such a fun milestone!

Halloween 2009

Our little pea pod!!!



Christian the Vampire and Madelyn as Fancy Nancy!

This year was such a great Halloween, the "big" kids really got into it!! For the first time they actually went trick or treating door to door. They loved it! Chase also went door to door to our neighbors since most of them had not met him yet.

Chase's Baptism

We had Chase baptized on All Saints Sunday! Christian stood up there asking pastor questions the whole time. It was so cute. Emily, Chase's godmother, was unable to make it since she was a "roadie" with Vertical Horizon. We will have to recreate pictures later. Uncle Justin was there though!!!!

Suzy Homemaker?

Madelyn's pumpkin


In the roaster cooking!


The empty shells


The puree draining!

Enough puree to make 9 pies!!!!


The finished product...I wanted a pic of it as a full pie...but someone else had other ideas!!!


So I had a the best time making REAL pumpkin pie. I am actually considering making Chase's baby food from scratch it was so fun and satisfying! I know I am nuts...but at this point that is a given.

Cheated????

I feel cheated...like I completely missed the experience. I know that I should be extremely happy that I have a perfect, healthy baby boy. Don't get me wrong Chase is wonderful, but I am still grieving for the birth experience that I looked forward to for 9+ months. There is something empowering about giving birth and seeing the baby you have grown inside for 9 months. I realize that people have c-sections everyday, but under general anesthesia is not a common occurence. And I don't think I would feel this way if I could have been awake for the c-section. I missed it all...I was asleep. I missed his first cry, I missed the reaction of my husband, kids and family when they heard "Its a boy". Before I was even conscience most of my family and friends knew what I had before I did.

To top it off the recovery from my c-section was terrible. I would deliver 10 more 9 1/2 pound babies like Madelyn before I would ever choose to go through another c-section. This is another reason I feel cheated. Was I done having kids? Maybe. Maybe not. But this experience (birth and recovery) makes the decision to have more children downright agonizing. After having Madelyn, I knew I had to have another baby girl. I can't imagine life without my sister and I definitely wanted Madelyn to have that experience as well. But now...my choices are to have another c-section or a VBAC. Not a fan of the VBAC, because I have seen what can happen. Plus with the VBAC, I wouldn't be able to have an induction so most likely I would carry the next pregnancy past the due date, and have to have a c-section anyway because with my age I wouldn't want to go past 41 weeks. Besides the fact that if I did go past the due date I would have a huge baby and stretching the uterus that much would just increase the risk for uterine rupture. And frankly uterine rupture is one birth emergency I could do without (especially since I have already experienced shoulder dystocia and prolapsed cord). So now have I been cheated out of the baby girl I long for?